We lie about Love. We lie to ourselves and create “alternative realities”, like never ending cheap soap operas to distract from the main picture. We have no idea, we are clueless!
We interpret shallow feelings as Love while obliterating the real thing, because we want to feel the “butterflies”! Well … just maybe the “butterflies” sensation is a sign that something is wrong, a wrong path, a wrong choice, a “do not dig any further”, “Danger ahead”.
“Time heals everything” and so with time and a lot of self-healing daily practice I have come to unlock many hidden past blockages, and their unresolved emotions. Surprisingly, I realized how regarding Love and my past relationships, I actually loved far more the ones I pretended not to and felt nothing meaningful for the ones I thought I did. My whole concept of love just turned 180 degrees on me.
Depending on our own personal traumas, mine was mostly about fearing Love and not the fear of commitment as I previously thought, we allow stories that perpetuate and protect the trauma itself. If we fear love (which in reality reflects the fear of suffering or rejection), chances are our love affairs would be nothing about love but a safer path away from it. We may wonder in circles why no relationships work out or we never find the better-half, when in fact we are the ones sabotaging it by choosing “mates” that can only scratch the surface of our hearts, if so. Call it “playing safe”.
Furthermore, we have no clue about love, other than the mental love, filling the void (self-love), the fearful version of the real thing, the mirror reflection of true Love, the shallow mind based on the physical, the unbalanced hormones, beauty and other futile attributes such as a nice pair of blue eyes.
The real deal includes so much more, a total trust in Life and Other, something we cannot control and therefore a complete shot in the dark (The Leap of Faith), and most importantly self-knowledge, self-Love, and self-satisfaction (not searching for comfort or approval and being happy on their own), while defying all mental standards of attraction and pre-concepts ideas of any kind. True love knows no boundaries!
We don’t truly love the one we admire and which “represents” all we want (or better said, what we think we want), the one who thicks all the boxes, on the contrary, the real love is the one who pisses us off the most, makes our blood boil without explanation (not to be confused with “butterflies”), the one we would so “securely” say “Never in a million years!!!”
Maybe there are so many broken hearts and so much frustration because we believed the wrong version of Love and should start accepting what is really in front of our eyes, the “irritating” best friend, the one in our faces throughout the years.
Love is supposed to be challenging, not the perfectly “happily ever after” version on the fairy tales. Because we grow in Love with Love, we evolve only from the uncomfortable zone, we become better versions of ourselves, we grow wings to fly into higher dimensions.
And when love doesn’t correspond the way we wanted or expected, let it be. Trust Life and make room for the unknow. First of all, have no expectations and keep in mind the best things in life are surprises and the things we didn’t see it coming. Second, go with the flow and trust Synchronicity, so “work” on self, focus on self-Love, learn how to walk before you can jump and run. When the right Moment comes along, you will know for sure, with all your heart, soul and body!
The deep Love has no “butterflies” but a very strong sense of “Home”!
It comes with Inner Peace!
eli de Lemos